Loneliness

Loneliness creeps in and your bones feel dry. You muster up the courage to smile. You try to push through but the presence of the spirit of loneliness is like a thick grey cloud. It clouds everything and makes you feel like you’re drowning and fighting to keep your head above water. And when you’re fighting to keep your head up, there is no choice but to look up. When everything else has failed and you’re looking up, you see the light.

In that moment you have a choice, you can allow the spirit of loneliness to wrap its chains around you and bind you. And you know that when you’re bound by chains, the weight of the chains will cause you to sink into the dark water and drown.

Or you have the choice to grab ahold of the light and when you grab ahold of the light, it WILL give you strength. It will give you the strength to keep treading water. It will give you the strength to command the spirit of loneliness to flee. And then the light will seem a bit brighter and bigger and as the light seems brighter and bigger, you begin to feel two things: love and hope. And when love and hope plant seeds in your heart and your mind, faith is the supernatural byproduct that begins to change things. Faith is the game changer that brings you out of the sea of discouragement and onto the land of promise where His goodness and mercy will follow you.

Keep holding on. You might still be in the water, but light is shining down on you and calling you to choose light when it seems dark, as when you choose light, He comes to rescue you and hold you up by your right hand. He is ready to give you love and hope so that you can have faith that He will never leave you nor forsake you and you will never be alone again and His goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life.

~Spiritual Grinder Girl~

About Me – Is it really?

About me.  Is it? Is this blog really me?  I don’t believe it is.  What I know, with certainty, is that God began gently nudging me 10 years ago to start a blog, nudged me harder 5 years ago, began pushing with more intensity one year ago, and last week he was so persistent that I felt like he was jumping up and down in front me, continuously tapping me on the shoulder, excitedly and repetitively saying, “Do it now! Do it now!” So today, I chose to listen even though I am not a writer and know very little about writing blogs.  I am just a girl on a day-to-day spiritual grind that is sharing my experiences to inspire others to find hope in greater things and what is yet to come.

 

The Deeper Why

 

I’m not a huge fan of talking about myself; I feel like I am more of a private person who opens up to few yet loves taking in the stories of many.  But God has shown me that talking about both my good and challenging experiences as well as my thoughts, wonders, and dreams isn’t about me; it’s about the one. The one who feels that people only partially “get it”, who is searching for more, yet finds satisfaction in both the still small moments and big and loud moments, who is uncertain, yet certain all at the same time, and the one who feels together, yet at times, falls apart completely and uncomfortably.  He showed me that our stories were not created for us and that they are not all about us, but instead, our stories are about the one.

 

In the Bible, there is a story referred to as the parable of the lost sheep (Matthew 18:11-14, Luke 15:3-7).  In this story, Jesus is teaching the disciples (Matthew 18) and the Pharisees (Luke 15) about how the Shepard (Jesus) leaves the 99 sheep to rescue the one.  But who is the one? The Bible tells us that Jesus came to save the lost (Luke 19:10), both the lost sheep of Israel (Matthew 15:24) and the gentiles (John 10:16, Acts 28:28).  I feel like most people familiar with these passages only think of “the one” as those who haven’t “accepted” Jesus as their savior and I do believe it is indeed for people that don’t know Jesus but I also believe it is for those who have accepted Him and have gotten lost, completely turned away from Him, or simply for those who at times wander off- for a few hours, for a day, for weeks, for months, or perhaps, even years.

 

We are all imperfect and we all wander at times, even if only for an hour or in the seemingly unknown minutes that our thoughts drift off to dark places, but we have a God who is full of mercy and will leave the 99 for the 1 and gives us grace, scoops us up and carries us right back to Him in perfect love.  I know, not hope, but know that God will use the stories that I have walked through or am walking out today, for good, as we have a God who uses ALL things for good. May these stories find “the one” and in the moment you read this blog, may you know that you are not alone and that your Heavenly Father has left the 99 for just you.  ~ Spiritual Grinder Girl ~